For those who thought (or hoped) that I had died and vanished from the face of the Earth, I'm still alive and getting by my day to day life serving the nation - full-time, no less.
After more than 22 weeks, I'm finally going to pass out for the first time in my whole NS life on 26 June (while my Army friends have either passed out two or three times from different places), provided I pass my Final Exercise Assessment which has been swapped from Exercise Salvage (RTA Management & Extrication) to Ops Highrise (multi-storey unit fire). And there are tons of things to settle, ranging from POC videos and booklets, to settling and deciding on whether I should sign that scholarship contract.
For once, I'm feeling almost as stressed as I was during the 'A' levels. And I wish I have someone to rant to right now, except that 1. I don't have time for that and 2. people are too busy trying to be on the move - sometimes oblivious to the fact that they're actually not moving on at all, some even falling back.
I need to meet up with people who matter and spend more time with them, especially if I'm sealing that contract and head off to Germany for 3 to 4 years.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Sunday, June 08, 2008
La Mer...
c'est magnifique!
That night as the waves ebbed and flowed along the shoreline, one begins to wonder where the sea stopped and the land began, or where the land stopped and the sea began. And as I thought about those lines from Katong Fugue, I'd say the shore is where the land stops and the sea begins - where the finite material trappings end, and where the constantly changing uncertainty of life begins. Shakespeare once described the sea as an agent of change, an agent that brings in peace, love and calm with its ever-changing tides - and when I heard the sound of the sea, I couldn't agree less.
While the tides may have carried Viola to Illyria and eventually to her love, I'm not too sure if someone will be there to tide me through these rough times. But then again, Viola didn't have it easy either and if there's one thing to be learnt from her character, it would be resoluteness - like patience on a monument, smiling (even) at grief.
In any case, I just watched the Indonesian production entitled Ayat-Ayat Cinta, and even though it may not be the best of productions vis-à-vis Hollywood blockbusters, it's definitely one that is impressionable and made me think about things especially from the point of view as a modern Muslim. Things such as true love, humility and above all patience in the face of adversity.
Like Jonah who remained constant in faith and continually believed and talked to God even in the most despondent of times, hopefully I'll make it through the coming weeks a stronger and more positive person.
Especially when I have responsibilities as a son to my parents, as a son to my country and as a son to mankind.
That night as the waves ebbed and flowed along the shoreline, one begins to wonder where the sea stopped and the land began, or where the land stopped and the sea began. And as I thought about those lines from Katong Fugue, I'd say the shore is where the land stops and the sea begins - where the finite material trappings end, and where the constantly changing uncertainty of life begins. Shakespeare once described the sea as an agent of change, an agent that brings in peace, love and calm with its ever-changing tides - and when I heard the sound of the sea, I couldn't agree less.
While the tides may have carried Viola to Illyria and eventually to her love, I'm not too sure if someone will be there to tide me through these rough times. But then again, Viola didn't have it easy either and if there's one thing to be learnt from her character, it would be resoluteness - like patience on a monument, smiling (even) at grief.
In any case, I just watched the Indonesian production entitled Ayat-Ayat Cinta, and even though it may not be the best of productions vis-à-vis Hollywood blockbusters, it's definitely one that is impressionable and made me think about things especially from the point of view as a modern Muslim. Things such as true love, humility and above all patience in the face of adversity.
Like Jonah who remained constant in faith and continually believed and talked to God even in the most despondent of times, hopefully I'll make it through the coming weeks a stronger and more positive person.
Especially when I have responsibilities as a son to my parents, as a son to my country and as a son to mankind.
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Bintang di Surga
Bagai bintang di surga
Dan seluruh warna
Dan kasih yang setia
Dan cahaya nyata
Oh bintang di surga
Berikan cerita
Dan kasih yang setia
Dan cahaya nyata
- Bintang di Surga, Peterpan
I don't know why, but I've been digging up my Indonesian CDs of late and listening to them. In some sense, I guess I do miss speaking Bahasa Indonesia somewhat seeing how I seldom converse with my parents in that language nowadays and how I'm getting more influenced by Malay in Jalan Bahar Boarding School. In some sense, I miss piecing together rhythmic sentences, thinking of sentences as a whole as if they're musical compositions, and adding in the right figure of speech to end a sentence on a decisive but yet polite note. I can't remember who said this, but I couldn't agree more that Bahasa Indonesia is like Italian of the East. Be it the strong Javanese influence or other Indonesian ethnic linguistic influence which is somehow lacking in peninsular Southeast Asia, there's actually some form of art in the language itself, despite being largely a socio-politically instituted and constructed language.
Such is the beauty of communication; such is the beauty of language.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
010608
Had a hearty Indonesian lunch with Desmond and Hanson, got myself a decent book on the History of Art at Kinokuniya and a good cup of double shot Dulce de Leche at Starbucks which wasn't too sweet as compared to the standard one. I would say it's been a pretty good book-out in spite of the loss of self-reflection time thanks to confinement which lasted until Saturday.
I made use of the bus ride on 581 to think about some things and I've decided that:
1. I'm accepting NTU's Linguistics & Multilingual Studies honours programme over NUS, even though NUS has been my dream local uni since as long as I can remember.
2. If I do get the MOE scholarship, I'm gonna make the best of an education in Germany, and if I do get the opportunity to read Komparatistik in LMU, I'm gonna work hard to get into the concurrent degree programme and graduate with a Masters in Comparative Literature & Linguistics.
3. If I don't get the MOE scholarship, then I'm gonna start applying to do law be it locally or overseas. Currently, I have European Law at Warwick in mind, simply because it gives me a leeway to learn German law and study in a German university for a year so my German won't go to waste.
As for anthropology and art philosophy & history - I'm probably doing either as a minor, or I'll pursue it outside school. And there's always the question of a liberal arts education in the States. Still have to think about this, and for once I'm actually grateful for the NS break.
I hope that my decisions thus far is a good compromise between the pragmatic and staying true to my interests and dreams. Ahwell. Time to book back into Jalan Bahar Boarding School, and hopefully I'll be out come Friday - unscathed.
I made use of the bus ride on 581 to think about some things and I've decided that:
1. I'm accepting NTU's Linguistics & Multilingual Studies honours programme over NUS, even though NUS has been my dream local uni since as long as I can remember.
2. If I do get the MOE scholarship, I'm gonna make the best of an education in Germany, and if I do get the opportunity to read Komparatistik in LMU, I'm gonna work hard to get into the concurrent degree programme and graduate with a Masters in Comparative Literature & Linguistics.
3. If I don't get the MOE scholarship, then I'm gonna start applying to do law be it locally or overseas. Currently, I have European Law at Warwick in mind, simply because it gives me a leeway to learn German law and study in a German university for a year so my German won't go to waste.
As for anthropology and art philosophy & history - I'm probably doing either as a minor, or I'll pursue it outside school. And there's always the question of a liberal arts education in the States. Still have to think about this, and for once I'm actually grateful for the NS break.
I hope that my decisions thus far is a good compromise between the pragmatic and staying true to my interests and dreams. Ahwell. Time to book back into Jalan Bahar Boarding School, and hopefully I'll be out come Friday - unscathed.
Three Weekends
There are three more weekends before the end of the 28th Emergency Response Specialist Course, and I sincerely hope nothing will go wrong. As small and inconsequential this number may seem, these coming three weekends mean a lot to me, especially in preventing me from spiralling into depression.
I know that some people actually don't mind getting confined because they say they have company whilst saving money - but I have friends and family outside camp, and no amount of money can ever compensate for the time I spend with them. And the last thing I want is for NS to rob me of my social life and skills, something which I will desperately need if I do eventually head to study in Germany, even in Munich where there are more Singaporeans seeing how most of them are in TUM instead of LMU.
Arghh. I need to listen to some people's voice right now. It's amazing how hearing someone's voice, even if they aren't really talking to you, can make you feel calm because it gives some semblance of familiarity and certainty. And to think I used to see modern literature as mostly despondent shindig! How wrong I am.
I know that some people actually don't mind getting confined because they say they have company whilst saving money - but I have friends and family outside camp, and no amount of money can ever compensate for the time I spend with them. And the last thing I want is for NS to rob me of my social life and skills, something which I will desperately need if I do eventually head to study in Germany, even in Munich where there are more Singaporeans seeing how most of them are in TUM instead of LMU.
Arghh. I need to listen to some people's voice right now. It's amazing how hearing someone's voice, even if they aren't really talking to you, can make you feel calm because it gives some semblance of familiarity and certainty. And to think I used to see modern literature as mostly despondent shindig! How wrong I am.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
